Object more, object less, the vast majority of us live surrounded by absolutely unnecessary things.
From old clothes to unused garments, from appliances of questionable use to photos of people whose names we no longer even remember, we tend to accumulate much more than what we need to live.
And if sometimes we ourselves don’t know what to do with so much junk, imagine the headache that your things can be for your family, the day you cease to exist.
The Swedes, however, seem to have found a very pragmatic way of dealing with this situation: they organize and get rid of much of their belongings before the grim reaper comes knocking at their door.
It is a practice named döstädning –a relatively recent term to name an ancient custom – which combines the word do (death) and städning (cleanliness or order).
This “cleaning before death” consists of getting rid of everything unnecessary before leaving this world. A practice that the nonagenarian Swedish artist Margareta Magnusson explained in detail in “The Swedish Art of Tidying Up Before You Die” (Reservoir Books, 2017).
Basically, “the idea is not to leave a lot of garbage behind when you die. Garbage that other people will have to take care of,” Magnusson explains to BBC Mundo.
“In this consumerist culture in which we live, döstädning It is a way to help those you leave behind,” he adds.
It is an idea so simple that one would say it requires no explanation, if it weren’t for the fact that for more than one person the death of a family member has left them with a mountain of unresolved problems, things to organize, as well as infinite grief.
“One day when you’re no longer here, your family is going to have to take care of all your things and I don’t think that’s fair,” explains Magnusson in a video he recorded with his daughter.
“Think about your favorite people. Do you want to put all your trash on their laps. And think about all your favorite things: should they end up in a container?” he tells BBC Mundo.
“I have had to tidy up so many times after someone else died, that I wouldn’t even force anyone to do it after my death,” adds the author, who had to take care of what her father, mother and husband left behind one day. once dead.
Even so, the artist recognizes that the process is not easy for everyone.
“Taking inventory of all our old belongings, remembering the last time we used them, and saying goodbye to some is not an easy task for many of us. People tend more to accumulate things than to throw them away,” he writes in his book.
But she admits that she is always doing this type of cleaning, because “I like to have everything nice around and maintain a certain order.”
“I have enjoyed reviewing my memories, my life. Giving things to my grandchildren and my children”
“I don’t see it as something sad,” he says, “but more as a relief”.
Let’s get to work
If this Nordic concept appeals to you and you think it might be useful to you, Magnusson has several suggestions on how to approach the task.
First, start by looking at what things you have in the attic or basement or hall closets. That is, in the places that are not visible and where things of little use tend to end up, those that you don’t know what to do with and that perhaps you don’t even remember you have.
You can also think of a younger family member or friend, to whom you can give things that no longer serve you and that will be wonderful for them.
“Start with the big things. Tables, chairs, furniture. Then move on to smaller things like clothes or pots and pans,” he tells BBC Mundo.
As for clothing, he maintains that the ideal is to have a wardrobe with only what we like to wear, with clothes that can be combined with each other, to which one could go almost with one’s eyes closed and always leave well dressed.
Proof of this are the majority of the photos you will see of her on the internet, in which she always wears plain pants and an invariable striped t-shirt.
The items that only concern you, such as souvenirsletters, diaries or intimate photos, you can keep them in a box labeled with the name of someone you trust, and with clear instructions to get rid of it without inspecting its contents.
He also recommends getting a paper shredder to destroy very private documents that could be harmful or simply unnecessary.
Equally important are unresolved problems or situations with friends and family: it is a good idea to try to clarify them before it is too late.
You can leave the keys to access web pages and digital accounts written down somewhere to make the procedures easier for those who stay, he says.
And finally, you can dedicate yourself to organizing (or throwing away) the photos and memories.
That’s always better leave it for last“because otherwise you will be trapped in the trunk of memories and you will not be able to do anything,” he explains.
It is best to do it alone since the objective is precisely not to overload others.
difficult conversation
What is the ideal time to tackle this task?
“If you are in the final stretch, don’t wait too long…” writes the artist.
He suggests at least starting at age 65, but in reality he believes that it is best to start as soon as possible.
“Start early, before you’re too old and weak to do it,” recommends Magnusson, who says he does a little bit every day.
“It’s never too early. It’s only too late, when you’re already dead,” he tells BBC Mundo.
“You won’t regret it, nor will your loved ones,” he says.
And if we are not thinking about ourselves but about our parents, Magnusson suggests having that talk with them at some point.
“Of course it’s not easy, but I think if you don’t do it when they’re alive, then it will be hell for you later,” he explains.
“You have to be a little rude and maybe you can go with them to the basement or the attic and ask them what they want to do with this or that, and if you can help them reduce their belongings.”
“I don’t think they’ll be angry about it,” concludes Magnusson.
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