Dementia, a disease that primarily affects the mind, also has a profound impact on the emotions of those who suffer from it. People who suffer from cognitive decline experience frequent emotional swings and often have less control over their feelings, which can make communication and interpersonal relationships difficult. According to the Alzheimer’s Society, this lack of emotional control can make daily life more difficult for both patients and their caregivers.
Dana Eble, outreach manager for the Alzheimer’s Caregiver Network in Detroit, Michigan, noted that most people don’t have regular interactions with those living with dementia, which can lead to uncertainty about how to act or what to say in those situations. “Even the most well-intentioned interactions can cause stress or confusion for someone with cognitive impairment,” Eble explained.
Experts agree that it is crucial to choose words carefully when communicating with a person with dementia, avoiding phrases or questions that might be misinterpreted or cause discomfort. One of the most problematic questions, according to Timothy Frie, a nutritional neuroscientist in Atlanta, Georgia, is “Don’t you remember?” This question can be frustrating and embarrassing, since memory loss is a core symptom of dementia. By forcing the person to acknowledge their impairment, you risk increasing their emotional distress.
Christina Chartrand, vice president of Senior Helpers, a home care company in Florida, adds that having someone with dementia recall a past event or conversation can make them feel bad about themselves. Instead of assuming the person can’t do something, Adria Thompson, a speech pathologist with experience in dementia care, suggests offering help and allowing the patient to decide if they need it, which respects their autonomy and dignity.
Another important thing to consider is to avoid correcting or arguing with a person with dementia, as this can lead to anger and agitation. Dr. Elizabeth Landsverk, a geriatrician in California, recommends keeping the peace rather than insisting on being right. As the disease progresses, patients lose their sense of time, making questions about future dates or events meaningless to them.
Leonie Rosenstiel, president of Dayspring Resources, Inc., advises that if a plan or appointment needs to be remembered, someone else should take charge of keeping track, thereby avoiding conflict or confusion. It is also important to avoid comments that, while well-intentioned, could be misinterpreted as belittling. Saying things like, “You don’t look like you have dementia” can minimize the person’s daily struggles.
Experts also recommend not pointing out when someone repeats themselves, as this can lead to frustration and self-consciousness. Jennifer Fink, a California care expert, points out that in the middle stages of the disease, patients may become aware of their deterioration, which aggravates their anxiety.
Simple questions like “How are you feeling?” can be disconcerting to someone with dementia, as they may not remember how they felt minutes before. Michael Kramer, a long-term care educator in Ontario, suggests being patient and striving to understand the patient’s perspective, while maintaining their dignity and encouraging open communication.
Finally, when it comes to daily activities, it is best to guide the person with dementia rather than asking open-ended questions. Dana Eble suggests direct phrases such as “Let’s go to the bathroom” rather than “Do you want to go to the bathroom?” Open-ended options can be confusing and overwhelming, so it is more effective to present limited and clear options. These approaches not only facilitate communication, but also help maintain the patient’s calm and emotional well-being.
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