Sunday, December 22

Is romanticism healthy?

Should love be based on romanticism? We have grown up in an environment of lies and myths about love, with songs like this: “Without you I will never be able to live and think that you will never be with me again.”

That is not true. Most divorces occur because the members of the couple love each other, but cannot live together and they separate. The idea that I’m getting married “because I’m in love” is a myth, it’s not true.

You don’t stay in a marriage because of the children or because “we’re in love.” This belief that we cannot leave someone for “being in love” is not healthy or advisable.

Children copy what they lived at home. If they live a good marriage, they repeat it and, if it is bad, too. If you don’t have a good marriage, the first thing to do is seek psychological help. And if it still doesn’t work, you should get a divorce and avoid the damage you will do to your children, your partner and yourself.

We don’t know how to choose partners, that is learned. We should never marry guided by emotions, logic has to come in.

Without intimacy, there is nothing. Being you in that relationship and being able to communicate freely, feel loved as you are, etc., that’s intimacy! Intimacy maintains desire and the couple.

That “true love conquers everything” does not work. Love is not enough. The important thing is to know how to choose a partner, and that is learned and studied. It’s science, let’s study!

Myths are beliefs, songs, poetry and soap operas that sell us that “being in love” is the only important thing.

To choose badly is to believe that you can change who you love without therapy. What happens is that you become a redeemer, and you end up crucified. There are people who live looking to “rescue” others, but on that basis a couple cannot be built.

The couple must be a couple. If one is more mature than the other, it doesn’t work; if it is uneven, neither. That person sinks, and sinks you too.

When should you say goodbye to your partner?

  • If a person has a problem, and does not face it or solve it.
  • You must learn to choose partners from primary school. Schools have forgotten the most important thing: to teach us to live, to be parents, husbands, brothers, how to make a family work.
  • Do not play with fire. Making love is not drinking a glass of water. A lot of people play with this and get stuck with no way out, in unhealthy relationships.
  • People with low self-esteem, and childhood problems without facing, are not suitable. You just end up in toxic relationships.

For love to work, love is not enough. This myth has dire consequences. We also lose a lot of time, which is the only thing we do not get back in life. We also suffer disappointments and emotional wounds that take us further and further away from true love.

http://www.NancyAlvarez.com