Many people saw how their lives changed when the world stopped due to coronavirus , but Jonathon Macleod , from 24 years, he managed to transform the situation and use the negative of the pandemic to his own benefit. In this way, he got over his cocaine addiction.
Jonathon, from Motherwell, Scotland, started using cocaine when he was 15 years and continued to do so in pubs, parties soccer and with friends until he was twenty years old.
He realized that his use of drugs was “different from that of everyone around him”, since when everyone else left him, he “didn’t want to stop doing it”, he told Unilad.
In statements to this medium, Jonathon said that he was born with an “addictive nature to anything in life.”
When you first started taking the drug, it caused a sensation and made you “feel better.” However, the good feelings did not last long and Jonathon was plunged into a depression, invaded by self-pity and guilt. As time passed, he felt that he “did not deserve to be alive.”
“I was extremely anxious and paranoid , I felt worthless and empty and was riddled with guilt over how I had been treating my partner, family and friends. It didn’t matter who was in my life or what I had in life, I couldn’t stop using even if I wanted to.
Sometimes I would cry myself to sleep or not sleep at all, trying of telling myself that I should stop and use my willpower not to do it again, yet I always used again; I often cried even while doing cocaine, ”she stated.
Tonight I collect ma 30 day chip at CA.
Below is the difference in me from being slap bang in the middle of the madness to being clean and sober.
Speaking out and admitting I needed help saved my life.
One day at a time. 92 days and counting 💪🏼. pic.twitter.com/DCMVEY8i7m
– Jonathon Macleod (@ jonnymacleod1) November 30, 2020
Jonathon recalled having lied to get out of situations in order to facilitate his drug use, and although he feels that he is a “young worker, honest, safe, fun and loving ”, his addiction“ took away ”those qualities. He lost pride in his appearance and stopped exercising because he was “completely consumed by cocaine and nothing else mattered.”
His addiction affected his life, creating tension in the relationship with his girlfriend and with his family members. He was “beaten” financially and was concerned about how to pay drug dealers.
At the height of his addiction, Jonathon described himself as “physically alive but not mentally”. There were several occasions when he acknowledged that he needed help “seriously”, the first was a few years ago, when he was admitted to the hospital with a mild heart attack after a four-day binge.
The doctors treated him and he was able to return home, but the first thing he did when he returned was take more cocaine. His frequent use of drugs led him to have suicidal thoughts every day, as guilt, self-pity and depression “consumed” him.
Jonathon came close to attempting suicide at one point, but credits a photo of his girlfriend in his wallet as the reason why He didn’t.
After that night, the young man from 24 years knew that it was time to seek help . He began regularly attending Cocaine Anonymous (CA) meetings, and embarked on a program of 12 steps to help you get off drug use.
Jonathon is currently on step 10 of the 12 steps, and recently got a chip celebrating 90 days sober. After completing the program, he will work with newcomers to CA to help them with their addictions.
Jonathon was still using cocaine when the coronavirus outbreak led to lockdowns in different parts of the world . At first he discovered that boredom, isolation and free time led him to use even more cocaine . But after changing her attitude, she decided to take advantage of the free time to attend CA meetings and learn more about her illness and mental health.
With pubs closed and no football games to attend, Jonathon did not face any triggers that had previously contributed to his drug use. Having had time to work on himself and have a “clear mind”, he knows that now has the “tools” to be able to face those same situations in the future without falling back. in his old ways.
Jonathon admitted that it took him “a long time” to realize that he couldn’t be sober on his own, and that if he didn’t stop using drugs “ I would end up dead ”. “Mental obsession” and confinement played a “big” role in his life during his first few days of sobriety, but CA meetings and continued support from his girlfriend, friends and family helped him get through the worst.
The young man of 24 encouraged anyone else who You may be battling addiction to talking, joining groups, and trying to connect with other addicts who have been through all of that themselves and who can help you realize that you are not He’s alone.
By taking things step by step , Jonathon is confident that he will stay on the right track. His experience of being sober “was not easy,” but he emphasized that it is “much easier than life than I was living”.